MHA regulars.

Newsgroups: misc.health.alternative
Subject: FAQ--THE ORANGE PENIS SYNDROME, FINDING ALTERNATIVE HELP
From: thorne.comtch.iea.com (Al Czap)
Date: 3 Apr 1995 00:15:55 GMT

Got some interesting email from a guy recently.

Patient X had seen every doctor his insurance would pay for, with no resolution to his problem. He had a recurring case of his penis being orange. Being new to the internet, he lurked around misc.health.alternative and sci.med.nutrition for a while to see if he should jump in and ask whether anyone could help with his problem. His hesitation was that no one would take him seriously and he might receive typical responses:

Paul Iaonne might consider that the problem is hot/cold based and recommend a homeopathic or Chinese herb.

Paul Mason would undoubtedly consider it a Magnesium deficiency.

Ron Roth would immediately disagree with Paul Mason that anyone could have a Magnesium deficiency.

Tim Triche, Jr., would look at every textbook in his realm and give possible biochemical pathways, but not be sure of the etiology or treatment, and at least state so. He, along with Steve Dyer, has too much time on his hands and needs suggestions for a hobby.

Steve Fowkes would take a more professorial view, holding his opinion until further review of references could take place, said review generally being of the more established and accepted literature.

Duane Weed immediately recommended chiropractic or a nutritional workup, to be supplemented with his products.

John Badanes would immediately recommend that Duane Weed had given the wrong advice and that chiropractic was out of the question.

Jai whatsisname, if you could email him, would consider eating meat or eggs as the causative factor, and post so 400 times, so he ignored him.

DragonSlayer also couldn't be emailed, and his response would undoubtedly be that no one else's methods had validity and that biopsy was necessary. Well as far as Patient X knew, DragonSlayer could be the Lorana Bobbit of MIT.

Steve Dyer and Scot Ballantine he wouldn't even approach. He would have to tell them that he had been to see regular doctors with no luck and if he told them that perhaps the only alternative was to seek help in these forums, he was afraid that they (only after numerous postings) would bite his head off. He didn't want that, after all he had seen "The World According to Garp".

My response to his email query: I told him he should see a good preventive practitioner. A few lifestyle questions deduced the problem and cleared up the matter.
Evidently Patient X had a daily pattern of stopping at the Seven Eleven after work and picking up a six pack along with a large bag of Cheetos(r). He then stopped at the video store on the way home and rented an X rated movie.

Please, vindictive flames only, none accusing me of "first hand" experience.